Love-Hate Relationship

No, I'm not fed up with Pete. There simply is no such thing as too much of him.  :-)

I am fed up, however, with golf. Here is why I hate golf:

It reminds me every time I play of the athlete I once was but will never be again. This is not about age but about age+disability = ugly reality. One of my most cherished and deeply held memories is of running down alongside my brother-in-law's house on Gull Lake. It was a moment. That's all. A flash of recognition: to be long-legged and move like a gazelle, the freedom, the grace of it. And know it. Revel in it.

I pretend everyday of my current life that I am able-bodied. I loathe reminders of the truth. Golf is always that.

Pete and I play for some pretty hot stakes — a dollar a hole. Up until today he also always gave me one stroke. Most games he outscored me but I came home with a few extra bucks. It softened the chronic losing. We played 18 this afternoon; I owed him $8 for the front nine alone. Which means I lost eight holes out of nine, and the ninth we tied. 

Once I was a natural athlete, good at any sport I chose to play, all-state in basketball. Now all I have is memories of those times. Small consolation in the face of the everyday reminders of what I cannot do. Like play golf.

Here's what I love about golf (there has to be something or why keep coming back?): the deer overseeing the 18th tee, the wood stork coming in low over the sixth fairway, four hours of Georgia blue sky, making a lone par.

Truffle: The soul-soothing tranquility of late afternoon sun, a dog, a husband and a bottle of wine on Lin's dock. 

Quote of the day: "In search of my mother's garden, I found my own." (Alice Walker; in memory of Marjorie Cope Stout, b. 02.23.1911; d. 03.13.1981, who might have been 99 today)

Comments

[Nancy]

Needless to say your post today rings all kinds of bells except those regarding being good at sports. I was a sports wannabe which may explain why I am an avid spectator! I miss being able to take a walk!

Honoring your mother, I am thinking of the Canadian skater whose mother died suddenly of a heart attack 2 days ago. She decided she had to skate anyway and skated the program of her life while many of us wiped away a tear or two.

[vicki]

Totally empathize.

[beverly hall]

guess i shouls do it tjis way instead pof one on one email to you.... no spell check but here goes... did remember marjorie yesterday but got caught up with the day without telling you so... rain and windy here as i revel in yr words and seemimngly happy moments in a unique setting... miss you what else is new? I emphasize with the ageing process... xxmoi